Porn is love you can see.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
