you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Are we still banned from the library?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
