She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
