I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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