I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
