found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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