mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
