Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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