"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
