Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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