I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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