We're like a lot better than the average bears
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
