all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
