She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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