doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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