Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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