Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
