you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
