What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
