ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize