That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
