I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
