I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
