I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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