he wants to bone in the snuggie
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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