I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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