Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
