No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
