I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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