wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
