we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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