singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
