When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
