OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
