no. you can't hotbox the world.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
