Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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