i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
