He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
