no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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