He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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