I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
