Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So vagazzling was a success
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
