Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
