I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I want to be your penis for a week.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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