so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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