its not stalking. its research.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize