I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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