yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
