id be glad to
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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