i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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