I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize