We got so high we made milksteak
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
