If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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