Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
