i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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