In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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