using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
