well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
